september

As I sit down with my glass of wine to write about September, and all the lessons I’ve learned, I’m in awe. In awe of the sunset right out my window, in awe of the job I got to do today, in awe of the apartment I live in (including the roommates I live with), and in awe of this sweet place The Lord has brought me to in His goodness. This month has been a whirlwind, complete with some breakdowns, frustrations and tears, but I’m grateful. I am eternally grateful to the Lord for bringing me here. And without further ado, the things I’ve learned in September.

1. Traffic drives me nuts. I’d rather drive double the mileage on the highway than stop and go on main roads. Two weeks ago I tried taking I-465 on my way to work, I haven’t gone back to my old way. I don’t care that it’s almost double the mileage, at least I’m moving.

2. Hanging out with special needs families may be the closest I get to heaven on earth. On Friday I hung out at a carnival at a local church thrown for children with special needs and their siblings to give their parents a night away. Talk about a step of faith, I don’t like to be reminded of the brokenness of the world, but I’m so thankful for the opportunity. My main buddy was a 9-year-old with Cerebral Palsy. Watching the way his 11 year-old sister took care of him, and his parents interact with him, must be a sliver of how the Lord looks at me. I am covered in sin, and yet He loves me anyways, and is always looking out for what is best for me. Wow.

3. 163,000,000 orphans. That’s a big number. That’s an even bigger number when you play out the end of their stories if no one intervenes. Come Lord Jesus come, help me be your hand and meet in the lives of your beloved children. 90% of the world’s orphans wouldn’t be adopted. I want to be their advocate just as much as I want to be an advocate for those who get adopted. Orphan care is messy. I want to be on the inside unafraid of getting my hands dirty and not fearful of not knowing the “right” answers.

4. I’ve always gotten along with my parents, but I don’t think I realized just how great they were until the last couple months. They are my biggest cheerleaders. More than just cheering me on throughout my entire life, they’ve empowered me. They let me make my own decisions, they ask me difficult questions, they’ve cried with me and for me, and they’ve dreamed with me. They loaded and drove two full cars to Indianapolis, moved me in, hung everything on the walls and bought me a ton of groceries. Watching them love me drives me to further advocate for the orphans, who don’t have Sue and Mike Snyder to advocate and empower them, and to remind them just how loved they are.

5. What I once feared for my first year post-grad is exactly what I needed, and what is best for me. I was scared shitless over paying rent, moving to a new city, starting a new job, being single and having to make my own way. I desperately tried during my senior year to walk down paths that we already paved and the Lord repeatedly said, “No.” Sometimes harshly. Here I am, in a new city, at not just one new job, but two, single, paying my own rent and cooking for myself, and yet, it’s great. I was so scared of graduating from college, that I never thought it would be good. I’ve only been here 1 month, but I really like it. For a girl who got really used to just surviving, thriving feels really good.

I lift my wine glass to September. My first month in my new city. My first month of being a grown up. Another month of remembering that God writes better stories than I can dream up.